Henchman Publishing

1:04AM - Imagine an online game based on Synnibar...

For those unacquainted with the role-playing game mentioned in this week's FFN, there's a quick run-down of the basics for Synnibarr (as well as a few other, ah, "interesting" sourcebooks) at the RPG.net Wiki. There are even a few for sale via Amazon at various prices (and it managed to get a three-star review from someone, which seems a tad generous). I first heard of it thanks to this image from one of many motivational poster threads.

It's Christmas Eve Eve, and we're supposed to drive an hour or two on Christmas day, so I fully expect the force field surrounding our city to fail and allow in the blizzard that's supposed to blow through. I think I can say that the holiday has well and truly morphed from what Norman Rockwell envisioned into an event where I include visits with three to six other families (perhaps more, depending on how you count) and my big present is Cristi and I deciding to finally replace our 20-year-old washer & dryer (under mild protest. I mean, if you don't drag the sheets over the rust spots, they work as well as ever, right?). My siblings and I all agree that we won't break our checking accounts buying gifts for one another, but instead we buy either "group gifts" (food & drink) or donate to a charity in their name along with getting their children something fun to play with. However you celebrate or whatever you do, I hope everyone has some fun and safe time off to enjoy a little relaxation and something good to nosh on. And if you somehow think there's not enough stress, you could always decide to hit the malls on December 26th. :)

Or you could buy a T-shirt that I whipped up and somehow forgot to mention: LoLCats, HO!" Somehow, redubbing an episode of "Thundercats" in LoLspeak sounds somewhat intriguing, especially if you could make it seem that the mutants were confused by it and that it was Mum-Ra's annoyance at it that fueled his desire to destroy them. :)

Back to the usual items of interest: I've long told people upset by actors that say things they disagree with to separate the thespian's work from their private lives. Tom Cruise made that very difficult with quite a few well-publicized antics (though one of the remixes that resulted was quite amusing). That said, this trailer for his next film looks like a fun time. He may be kinda messed up off-screen, but he's got talent.

Here's something for the fans of British comedian Bill Bailey and "Have I Got News for You." Last week, Liberal Democrat MP Charles Kennedy was on the show, apparently the first MP to do so after a scandal involving other members of Parliament claiming some rather outlandish things as expenses (I believe the more famous ones were a duck pond, a moat, and a tower on a castle). Anyway, Bill was goading Mr. Kennedy into saying his colleagues were, ah, "less than honest" and suggested it would be remixed on YouTube and become a hit. Well, it's not on YouTube, but the mix does exist (using Bill's voice, samples from previous jokes about monkeys and octopuses, and the show's theme music).

Now I must away to help Cristi wrap [DATA EXPUNGED] for the nephews, so until Christmas Day's posting, here's:

- A bit of "hard" science for fiction to argue over: ten ways to travel in deep space and the physics of space battles.
- A guy decided to see what his cat, Kookoo, got up to during the day, so he put a GPS receiver on Kookoo's collar and compiled a video of the results.
- And since the season is 'tis-ing, from the nuts at "Everything is Terrible," here's The Majesty of Christmas Music. Sanity checks may be required.
- This is the time of year when people forward that text file about how fast Santa's sleigh has to go to reach every house and what happens to him and the reindeer after physics are applied (it's not pretty). So instead, I'm posting what most likely happened to the Ewoks after the second Death Star blew up in close proximity to the moon they were living on.
- Two rather offbeat holiday traditions: watching Donald Duck in Norway on Christmas Eve and watching a a sketch called 'Dinner for One' in Germany for New Years (at least, as of 2005).
- How about a new holiday tradition: Infectionator: Xmas Edition where you can not only generate zombies, but you can try to have Santa join your army of the undead.
- It's all a matter of opinion of course, though what intrigued me about the worst comics of the year (of which this is the second page) is that the winner(?) was a bizarre storyline from the "Mark Trail" comic strip.
- A coffee grinder might seem aggressive enough for many coffee drinkers, but this espresso machine is for those who find Chuck Norris a bit wimpy.
- The Vatican now says that his holiness is now his copyrightedness. Get to those "Pope Rooms" at Buca Di Beppo before they're closed down, folks!
- Artist of engine-driven oddities, Stan Mott would have surely been a huge tabletop gamer. I would love to see a "Car Wars" supplement based on his work. :)
- We end with a game called Space Ace, though it has nothing to do with Don Bluth. It's a flavor of the old vector-graphics "Lunar Lander" games, except you're flying through a maze of tunnels collecting dots while trying not to touch your highly volatile hull against the walls.

10:31PM - Two movies that probably shouldn't be...

Marmaduke. This is a comic I thought was occasionally funny 'round about when I was eight. Of course, there were no webcomics back then, and if you wanted any graphical representations of humor, you got your folks to buy books for you or you got nothin'. And nothin' was what you got with Marmaduke, pretty much. The premise is that a Great Dane does something outrageous (and that's "outrageous" in a 1950's media sense of the word, the furthest extent of which would be catching a glimpse of a madien's slip as a breeze ruffles her calf-length skirt) in one panel and the humans involved explain why it's funny. However, I'm just an amateur when it comes to explaining Marmaduke, so thankfully someone else does so on a regular basis, as does another someone else.

Why do I bring up a single-panel vortex of un-funny on the comics page? They're making a Marmaduke movie. I'm not kidding. The the trailer is on this page at Slashfilm. And it looks like they're "updating it for a new generation" or something. Either he's going to talk in the film, or this is a "Kangaroo Jack" style trailer where the animal star only speaks in ads. But quality wise, it really shouldn't matter. This film didn't have to be called "Marmaduke," because nobody was out there wishing for Marmaduke to make a big-screen appearance. Any "big dog" character would have had the same effect on the bottom line, the studio wouldn't have had to pay the comic syndicate a dime, and my head wouldn't hurt thinking about the other films that must be in development based on "Barney Google and Snuffy Smith," "The Lockhorns," and "Ziggy." In fact, I can think of several comic strips that would make better movies than "Marmaduke," under certain conditions:

1. The Far Side. Already proven to be watchable in "Tales from the Far Side," this would be the animated movie for families where the grown-ups are nerds and the kids are ones you'd suspect of liking David Lynch if they knew who he was. How it would work: Gary Larson must write it or pick the cartoons used as source material. Further, it's not going to be a huge hit in the box office, but it will sell steadily on DvD forever, like a Monty Python movie. Also, the little 'bits' making it up will circulate on YouTube until the end of time.
2. Calvin & Hobbes. If there's one comic strip just about everyone wishes hadn't stopped, it was Bill Waterson's epic about a boy terror and his imaginary(?) friend, a stuffed tiger. They should have hucked "Dennis the Menace" when looking to the funnies and picked up Calvin, but... How it would work: Give it to Pixar and let them work on it without interference. Send Waterson to them in a locked crate so they can study him at leisure. If anyone tried making this in to a live-action film, it would fail so hard that audiences would be killed by the shrapnel.
3. Bloom County and/or Doonesbury. I put these two in one category for the "how it would work" section. Bloom County was one of the first newspaper strips to start doing things that a lot of webcomics now do on a regular bases: Introducing aliens, mad science, random celebrities, etc. and still making it all work instead of looking like the author is dredging the bottom of the creativity well. Doonesbury, for all the criticism lobbed at it from its political targets, had some really good and poignant runs. Alongside "Snoopy," Zonker Harris was one of my favorite comic characters ever, and I discovered his uncle Duke long before I ever heard of Hunter S. Thompson. How it would work: In both cases, making any kind of movie from this would have to be set in its heyday. That means no post-hiatus Trudeau and no "Outland" Breathed. These are the only projects I could think of that might do better without their authors, allowing directors who are fans of the features in their prime to do stories set in the 70's and 80's using the casts of these features.

And of course, there are loads of webcomics out there that deserve a whole string of feature films more than Marmaduke does, starting with Girl Genius getting a three-picture deal with Peter Jackson directing.

The second movie trailer I saw that crushed the other half of my soul was the one for 'Cats & Dogs 2.' The first film looked like it was almost a good idea which got saddled with lame jokes that sounded like they came from a Disney "made for our cable channel" movie with voiced-over puppies. The sequel appears to not only continue the trend, but seems, in spots, to suffer from a lower budget. I can pick out several "stuffed animal we're supposed to think is real" shots, and they re-use the "my owner is a crazy cat person" gag for the villain... again. But at least its a "new" franchise and not a remake, I suppose. And the writers (or maybe just the guy who came up with the title) have seen at least one classic James Bond film...

But all is not gloom and doom. I listen to very little music radio anymore, and when I was doing so recently, I heard a rather jaunty tune on a local "alternative" station (which they do tend to live up to; they don't sound like anything else on my dial, but I do live in Kansas City, so there you go) called "Fireflies." It's a synth-pop feel-good piece of bubblegum, and so I thought I'd share. Looking it up on Wikipedia, I saw that it had been a top Billboard hit, so I'm probably quite late to the party, mostly because I've been busy chasing kids off of my lawn. In hunting down the video, I also came across a one-man acapella version that was pretty decent as well.

I just realized that I've been very lax in getting new issues of ps238 up in the store, and that'll be rectified sometime tomorrow. In other comic happenings, I'm informed that North 40 was nominated for an award at Comicmonsters.com, with voting starting in a few days if I read the site correctly. The juxtaposition of the nominees' subject matter with the festive season doth please my ironic bits. I think if you win, you're given the soul of one of the other contestants... or a night's stay in a haunted asylum. I wonder if there's a cash equivalent? :)

While I hire a witch to help with the voting (what could go wrong?), here's some mystic portals to other realms:

- I'm a special effects nut from way back, starting with Ray Harryhausen and blue screen. But it's almost scary how often new techniques are used in seemingly mundane scenes. This is to preface you for this demo reel from Stargate Studios, showing how often their talents come into play in popular TV shows and movies.
- Even though his colleagues have been calling him "Sir" for some time, Patrick Stewart is to be knighted. Would that make him Sir Captain, Sir?
- A British court has ruled that Stormtrooper costumes from Star Wars aren't "sculpture," which enjoys 75 years of copyright, but "industrial design" that only gets 15 years, which means the guy who designed the helmets in 1976 can keep doing selling them.
- Way of an Idea is a puzzle game where the goal is to foster an idea in the head of a scientist by guiding an apple in its descent towards his head.
- Impressive stop-motion animation in Western Spaghetti.
- The "Snuggly" blanket-with-sleeves was apparently involved in a road accident with Underoos and they couldn't figure out which part went where.
- Penny-Arcade is getting started on what appears to be a short holiday series, though it's a little Illithid for some tastes.
- A classic ice-cutting-to-save-vikings game gets another installment in Icebreaker: The Gathering.
- Who knew the use of a tape measure could be a superpower? I think he may have found inspiration from a classic XKCD strip.
- Try your skills at Eeniebounce: Bounce your smiley face, collect all of the stars, and rebound off of numbered and colored platforms a specified number of times to progress. It's harder than it looks.
- And we close with something for all you holiday bakers out there (myself included): Gourmet magazine's favorite cookie recipes from 1940 through 2008.

1:28AM - The economic contraction has hit our baked goods!

"Honey Maid" has turned on us. Like all people getting up in years, the Maid is getting smaller. This might seem an odd thing for me to harp on, but wifey-poo has this great (and incredibly simple) recipe for toffee bark, (minus the nuts, sometimes with cinnamon) and it calls for graham crackers as its "crust" (she's also a "name brand" shopper, so it might take surgery to switch her to another crispy carbo), which was fine... until this year. The old crackers, about 1/8 of an inch wider, fit perfectly in the rimmed baking sheets we were wont to use. Now, cracker surgery has to be performed to get a "wall-to-wall" fit, which just adds to the stress of holiday entertaining. Were this a recipe where one could scarf raw cookie dough as an emotional salve, that would be one thing, but these are graham crackers: they need other stuff to be edible*. So Nabisco had better fess up and fix this problem or the torrent of complaints will no doubt destroy their baked-good empire.

* after you reach a certain age, that is. Kind of like how you stop eating vanilla wafers unless they're used as a topper for some kind of viscous pudding-based organism.

Sorry. Sugar rush. Too much peanut brittle (on sale near every freakin' cash register for a buck a box... right next to the chocolate covered cherry cordials. I'm doomed). Anyway, since I'm having to fend off addiction, I've got something that could return long-vanquished monkeys to a few backs. Among the computer game deals I saw this week was one from "Good Old Games," the place I acquired the first two "Fallout" titles: You can get a metric ton of Might & Magic for about twenty bucks. Somewhere, in my deep past, are the graph paper maps I made for the original M&M game on the Commodore 64. I even used colored pencils to denote which part of the map was mountain, which was forest, etc. I loved that game, as it was about as close as you could come to D&D on the computer back then, but also because it didn't try to steer you away from danger. The whole world was open, pretty much, and my 6th level party happened upon a dungeon that led to some kind of major demon convention. I got to read the room description right before they wasted every one of my characters (probably for not having a pre-reg 4-day badge). I also recall wondering why my cleric, who I had casting "raise dead" spells every other minute, kept dying in his sleep, requiring me to hit the nearest temple. Apparently, there's a cost for bringing people back from the grave, and my formerly youthful holy man was now over a hundred years old. I remember thinking that was kind of awesome. Then I made more maps, and I don't remember much else until "Doom" came out, I think...

And speaking of games, the holidays have hit the two superhero MMOs. In the City of Heroes Winter Event, all of the old classics are back (snow beasts, candy cane collection), and so is the skiing. That dratted ski slope was something I just couldn't get the hang of, even when playing late at night where nobody could see me eventually miss a curve and plummet to my super-doom.

Over at "Champions Online," they've got an event that shares roots in CoH (large boxes you open that usually earns you an attack from something lurking within) but with an hourly-spawning villain (hourly for the whole "world." Players monitor several feeds to find out which instance the master bad guy has appeared in) and action figure pieces to collect. Unfortunately, as there are five or so figures players want, and they all have three pieces, and the pieces are hard to come by, the chat window scrolls by like the ticker on CNN crossed with an auction house Twitter stream. More disturbingly, it appears to snow indoors in some places. There are "charities" your player can support by giving up game cash, and some heroic players are donating to real-world charities for each "gift" you send them via the game's e-mail system. Some of the aforementioned boxes give you items like a Holiday CD or a pair of Festive Socks, and they can be donated to raise actual funds for causes. On a geek-reference note, I was delighted to see that the "Matching Pen and Pencil" item has "just the thing I need, how nice" as it's description. I love that song.

Back to movies and "livin' the dream." A while back, I linked to a short film shot by a budding filmmaker in Uruguay who showed alien spacecraft and robots demolishing buildings and generally getting all 1950's invasion in everyone's face. That tale has a happy ending as Sam Raimi has hired the kid to make a $30 million feature film! Also from the same alert reader (thank you, Mike!), Stephen King will let you option any of his short stories for a dollar, provided you're an aspiring filmmaker or student. Any future Frank Darabonts in the house?

So now that you know to ask for a high-def camera equipment for Christmas, let's look at what the 'net has for us this weekend:

- Need to make a stocking stuffer and you have extra yarn lying around? How about crocheting a 'Yip-Yip' Muppet alien?
- What's the weather like where you are? No, I mean, what's it like in 'Star Wars' terms?
- The new "Star Trek Online" game has Zachary Quinto lending some of his vocal talent.
- Speaking of "Star Trek," no longer can the show be ribbed for always dismantling the communicators in the first ten minutes, because (language warning) just about every movie and TV show does it now.
- A fast-paced simple (yet sometimes challenging) time-waster: Obey the Game. Try to pass a hail of mini-games where you either follow the instructions or do the opposite, depending on what you're ordered to do.
- A rather amusing list of (probably college dorm-based) 4th edition D&D spells. I especially like #56.
- "Lipdub" films, of massive numbers of people lip-syncing to a song, are nothing new... unless you filmed the whole thing in reverse. Whoa.
- It's "Spot the Difference" time with Goldilocks: Twisted.
- A classic sci-fi remake ("Day of the Triffids) and it's got Eddie Izzard with a gun? This had better be on BBC America or there will be a terse letter or two!
- And just because I like flying saucers, here's a game called Moo Beam. Guide your flying saucer to the next cow to abduct without flying off of the screen.

2:32AM - Undead Stormtroopers and a load of movie trailers...

So I'm starting this festive holiday book called "Death Troopers," which, given the current trends in horror fiction, is probably about Star Wars Stormtrooper zombies in some fashion or other. I'm only a few chapters in, and I've noticed a few things:

1. I wish they hadn't named one of the main characters "Trig." I'm a bit of a news wonk, and I can't help thinking his mom was the former governor of Alaska. His last name is "Longo," which doesn't help, either.
2. Star Wars seems to be the last refuge for people trying to toss off comparisons that go "that's like a [planet]ian [made-up word] [animal name] trying to eat a [planet]ian [made up word] [animal name]" with a straight face. And that sounds about as natural as a Pelemaxian Tentacle Bird trying to eat an Atrisian Shredder Bat.
3. Nobody swears in Star Wars, even if the story takes place on a prison ship. The exception is when an alien says something in non-whatever-passes-for-English, and the best you get is a clinical description of what is supposed to be inserted where.

Geeky-snarking aside, it seems to be coming off as a decent "popcorn movie" novel. Nobody has even mentioned the Force yet, and if it (and the Jedi) are left out of the picture, I think that'd be kind of refreshing. I just hope we aren't going to see a follow-up novel, "Sparkling Vampire Troopers."

In other sci-fi stuff, i09 has listed its 20 greatest SF movies of the past decade, and I did enjoy a lot of 'em, especially "Primer" and "Serenity." I would have included "The Man From Earth," as well. And quite a few on that list are "sci-fi to varying degrees," but actual science fiction is hard to sell. I think the last hard sci-fi films (or at least, the less fantastical ones) I can recall were "Gattaca" and "2010," the latter of which still remains one of my favorite films. It's also fun to see who starts getting uncomfortable listening to John Lithgow hyperventilate while spacewalking over Io. :)

The trailer for "Iron Man 2" was just released, and I think Marvel's got another winner on its hands. I will say I'll be interested to see how "Whiplash" (the guy who turned Tony Stark's race car into a modular vehicle) gets around. That's a big thing with superheroes and supervillains: Transportation. Especially in this case, if you can't really disguise yourself instantly and you don't have a fast getaway, how do you expect to last more than however long it takes for the first cop with a gun to show up? Even if you do leave, what's to stop you from being followed? We kind of give Batman a pass at this kind of stuff, because he's wonder-rich guy with super-high tech that can stop people from following a highly conspicuous car and what have you. But shirtless Russian guy with electric streamers should have a clever plan to vamoose, even if Iron Man doesn't have his armor handy.

There's also a new "Clash of the Titans" trailer. While it still follows the heavy metal concert theme, has a three word "slogan" embedded in it, and at times looks like two or three different movies, I have to say the design for the Kraken is pretty darn cool-looking. I wouldn't have minded that thing being the Cloverfield Monster.

And then there's "Robin Hood," or "something that looks a lot like the last King Arthur movie meets Gladiator." The trailer sets this up as "the story behind the legend," which seems to be code for "guys on horses with swords, yelling and chopping bits of each other off, set to rock music." Though in retrospect, rock music is preferable to Bryan Adams, I think.

I'll most likely be catching "Sherlock Holmes" on Christmas day with the other "kids" at our family gathering, and I'll dutifully report my findings. Until I can make it to 221 Baker Street, we've got:

- If you like things traditional and old-fashioned at your holiday meals, and you have less-than-perfect relations with your relations, here's some tableware that might come in handy.
- Nature, though sometimes seemingly cruel, can be quite the entertainer: It offers us octopuses who use coconut shells.
- I ran across some new interpretations of the Portal song, "Still Alive": First, version that sounds like a pop ballad, the other a techno remix by Raddox. Both YouTube links have info on getting free mp3s of each track in their extended info sections.
- Almost like a harbinger of the upcoming "Epic Disney" game, here's a collection of photos from 'River Country', an abandoned section of Walt Disney World, closed since 2001.
- From Adult Swim games comes Mountain Maniac. You're a crazed mountain man, using your hammer and (slightly steerable) falling boulders to cause as much destruction as possible.
- There are some out there who have gotten away with avoiding mandatory dress codes for too long. Next, we have to make them wear proper boots in bad weather.
- I'm not sure how "free" is defined here, but Steam appears to be offering Team Fortress 2 for free this weekend.
- How do silent medieval monks sing for Christmas shows? Quite creatively, it seems.
- Nerd-rapper MC Frontalot is quitting smoking, using a most unique method based on D&D.
- Shooting, physics, and removing blocks are all a part of Blosics. Knock as many blocks off of the screen as needed to pass each level, but watch out how many shots you use, as each costs you points.

3:51AM - Nothing like last-minute around the holidays, eh?

Everyone thank Alert Reader Michael for inquiring about a 2009 holiday card. Thanks to his prodding of my feeble brainmeats, it has been forged and awaits downloading and printing to fulfill its purpose. Sorry for them being so late in the season, but they do make great gift tags, too, right?

Speaking of the holidays, I noticed a couple of oddities when out looking over deals sites. As a sure sign that our technological advances are misplaced (and that money and taste don't necessarily go together), I've come across these wall-mounted gel-fueled fireplaces a couple of times. Granted, were I still working in a cubicle, I'd probably get one for the ol' office, provided I had a written guarantee it wouldn't set off the sprinklers. And really, if we've finally made fire you can hang on the wall, where are my torch sconces?

Also, there's "Tony Hawk: Ride." For those unfamiliar with this item, it's a video game that simulates skateboarding via a skateboard that interfaces with your game console. This game has also taken a royal drubbing on almost every review site, the critics pointing out its overly sensitive sensors (that can be set off by pants cuffs or nearby furniture), difficult gameplay, lackluster locations, and a pretty high price point of $120. One deals site I look at can give an impromptu chart of the game's decline into bargain-bin territory in very short order, falling to as low as $70 in under a week.

But speaking of games, many sequels had trailers come out on the intertubes, including "The Force Unleashed 2." I liked the previous installment because (1) it had a good story, (2) force lightning, (3) tossing stormtroopers, (4) and force-lightning stormtroopers and tossing their bodies into other stormtroopers. So while another chapter in this troubled young man's life is welcome, I would like to see fewer quicktime events. For those unfamiliar, the game would give you a major opponent, like a Jedi master. To defeat him, you'd do the usual action-game stuff of running around, using your light saber and force powers to do damage, sometimes playing some kind of timing game with a background obstacle (say, dodging a giant plant-monster's swinging tentacles). But when you got near the end of the fight, the game turned into "Dragon's Lair" where you had to press the right buttons at the right times to execute a series of moves that have nothing to do with the controls up to this point. The idea, I assume, was to give a dramatic send-off to your foes, but if you screw up, your enemy gets some health back and you have to wear them down all over again. Also, like a lot of games that give you some kind of "choice," in this case to be on the Light Side or the Dark Side, the sequel has to pick a decision for you to continue the story. I'm kind of reminded of the old "Clue" movie on video tape that came with three endings. I'd be highly amused of "Force Unleashed 2" started off with "it could have happened this way..."

Now I have to get back to clearing space for the Christmas tree (and hucking an aquarium. Look for it cheap on Craigslist soon) which, for some reason, involves moving a piano. While I interact with tinsel, here's some other shiny objects:

- Have you ever wondered what a live-action Simpsons opener would look like in Estonia? We have some good news for you...
- I might actually watch Wimbledon if it adopted a similar theme.
- Attention TV show makers: enough with the 'enhance the image' stuff. You can't pick a face out of a pixel, so just stop it.
- Though I'm sure this game was for Halloween, here's Roly-Poly Monsters. Use your bombs to destroy every roundish creature on the screen in puzzling ways.
- There's something wrong with advertising in America if we're missing out on cereal commercials like this.
- As was pointed out in the comments last entry by Loswick, there's a new Simon's Cat episode! Sadly, it's only first part of a 2-parter, but still...
- The blogger behind "Serial MMOgamy" has had her Lord of the Rings Online account suspended for quite vague reasons, indeed. I haven't seen customer service that heartless since trying to convince a Texas utility that I lived in another state and didn't owe them money.
- C'thulhu loves his Mr. Potato Head. Perhaps a noggin of hollow plastic is the only one he can be himself with and not drive it to madness...
- Arcanorum awaits! Pilot your medieval helicopter with smashy-arm, swinging it around to destroy all who oppose you!

2:21AM - The hazards of being an individual, and more zombie stuff...

Normally, I don't lead off with a video, especially not a 10 minute one, but it was just too funny and hit too close to home to pass up. This clip is from what appears to be a graduation-type setting, with a student addressing his peers, giving them the very sound advice about not being an individual. I think we can all look back at some of the things we've done and relate... painfully. Replace his dating anecdote with one about "Doctor Who" or "Star Trek," and that could be me up there (well, apart from the being skinny bit). Anyway, this kid, if he's the author of the piece, should have a his own HBO comedy special before he graduates college, or there is no justice.

I may have hit a "road block" in my love for zombie video games. I picked up "Zombie Driver" today (for research, of course) and tried it out. It's basically a top-down driving game where you're given missions to complete using a variety of armed and armored cars in a zombie-infested urban setting. Most of the time, you're just plowing through them with your accelerator to the floor. Anyway, as I'm probably not the greatest at aiming a moving vehicle steered with a mouse and keyboard when I only have a vague idea of where my target is before it flies into view (a bit more of a forward view would have been appreciated), I have to do a lot of u-turns and donuts to swing around and give any remaining zombies a vehicular love-tap. About at level 4, I realized I was about to lose my dinner unless I got some Dramamine. I think I'll table this one for a while, perhaps trying it in windowed mode or something. Which is a shame, because it was almost like playing "Spy Hunter" with a bit more freedom, better graphics, and guilt-free destruction of bipedal targets. :)

I'll also have to find out if the tactics of zombie attack science hold up during gameplay.

And speaking of zombies, the hit novel "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" is headed to the silver screen starring Natalie Portman. I'll be interested in seeing how they set the tone, if they'll try to keep the flavor of the literary "adaptation" intact or if we'll get a "Shaun of the Dead" wink-and-nod at the audience. I wouldn't mind it if the actors played it straight, m'self, as I've always found characters taking their roles very seriously while surrounded by otherworldly strangeness amusing.

I also wanted to let everyone know that me and the elves (relatives) are getting orders out as fast as possible, and after visiting the post office today, I decided I'd speak up a little in defense of the postal workers out there. It was a long, long line today at the ol' PO, and there was grousing from those assembled. However, as a veteran of the post office queue, and allowing that the workers are human and prone to flaws as we all are, I'd like to make a few observations:

1. If you're stuffing things in a box and taping it up at the counter, you're part of the reason why the line isn't moving.
2. If you don't have the proper forms or have them filled out when you get to the counter, and you take the time to fill them out there, you're part of the reason why the line isn't moving.
3. If you ask to see every kind of stamp they have so you can color coordinate them with whatever it is you're mailing, you're part of the reason why the line isn't moving..
4. If you have no idea how you want to ship your parcel or letter and ask to have all of your options recited and explained to you, you're part of the reason why the line isn't moving.
5. If you want your mail to get somewhere on a "guaranteed" date and they can't guarantee it by the method you're shipping it, asking them to repeat the estimated time it will take to get there won't make it a sure thing, even after the third repetition. Also, you're now part of the reason why the line isn't moving.

The same phenomena are probably encountered at UPS and FedEx counters, too. When added to the usual stresses of the holidays, I'm sure it's making for happy-fun thoughts towards one's fellow human beings and what you'd like to do to their tires. :)

So while we wait for whatever's going on up there with the guy trying to ship what looks like a vacuum cleaner tied to a snow tire, let's look at other topics:

- This is a long way around Abby's barn for a gag, but here goes. For those not in the UK, there's a chat show host named Jonathan Ross (I understand he's one of those love 'im/hate 'im sort of people). He should at least be given props for having the bravery to wear an orange suit and being a bit of a comic book geek. In addition to him, fans of Doctor Demento musical selections are probably familiar with the 80's novelty hit 'Shaddap You Face' by Joe Dolce. Take those two things, add Samuel L. Jackson, and you get this. Whew!
- More people need to do TV intros for their pets. Here's Macgyver Cat.
- Finally, a game: Rise of the Tower has you outfitting your corporate building with all kinds of cannons, lasers, and other upgrades to fend off your competitor's tanks, planes, and other methods of commercial competition.
- Though it could be considered a tad blasphemous, here's Rowan Atkinson playing a vicar as he teaches about the miracles of Jesus.
- The winners of the Infocom Game Look-Alike Contest 15th Annual Interactive Fiction Contest have been announced. I kid them with the "Infocom" stuff; I owe, at the very least, my typing skills to "Zork" and its descendants.
- Random Good Stuff has an extensive holiday gift "catalogue" of rather unique items, as well as lists from years past.
- Here's a sweet Flickr photo set of the Staffordshire Hoard, a trove of ancient Anglo-Saxon gold found by a hobbyist with a metal detector.
- And we close with a pretty unique game called Starlight. Simply rotate the field of stars until they form a picture. An amusing time-waster, indeed.

3:51AM - We open with no snow, and end on a trip to a space-based theater...

Where'd the snow go? I know wishing for a blizzard would probably earn a lot of enmity from the states to the north of me, but a friend of mine e-mailed from Wisconsin to ask if Kansas City had a force-field around it or something, as all of the snow we were supposed to get (about half a foot, good for sledding) just seemed to skirt the city limits. We wound up with a paltry 2 inches. I know some folks in Iowa and New England, among other places, would probably love to trade places, but since the wife is still at home on leave with our son, she was hoping to still get that "snow day" thrill of school being called off. Ah, well, at least it wasn't an ice storm this time...

A lack of inclement weather meant we got to put up our infamous Stargate Wreath on the house. For those who've never seen it before, it was constructed from a PVC ring with deadfall from a winter ice-based attack on Kansas City that knocked out power to our home for about two weeks. It seemed an appropriate way of marking the event as well as showing the trees that we're not above displaying their limbs as defiant trophies in the hopes they'll leave the power lines alone next time. :)

I enjoyed the "Pirates of the Carribean" series of movies. Even the worst of the lot (which might include the next installment) is, at least, mindless entertainment with Johnny Depp reminding us what pirates would be like if they'd invented rock music and heavy substance abuse. So why does the trailer for 'The Sorcerer's Apprentice' make me think it's going to be less than good? Probably Nic Cage. I remember liking him him films, especially in "Raising Arizona," but somewhere along the line he started a downward spiral for me, culminating in "Ghost Rider." While he can't be blamed for the entire film, he appears to think the end result was good and warrants a sequel with him and his toupee as Johnny Blaze. So I'm having a little trouble taking him seriously as a sorcerer, I guess. I also can't help seeing this and thinking, "they're taking Andre Linoge from Stephen King's 'Storm of the Century' and turning his training the boy he stole into a sit-com." Still, I hope to be wrong, though I still never want to see Cage with a flaming skull for a head anytime soon...

Though all is not bleak in movie-land. This trailer for 'I Sell the Dead' looks like low-budget fun, especially since it has Angus Scrimm as a guest star. At first it looked like an attempt to beat 'Burke and Hare' to theaters, but the second they mentioned undead... okay, I'm in.

And here's something that made me go "hmmm," and I wonder if it's a sign I'm getting old and not knowing what "all the kids" are up to these days: Ping-pong balls. In two local convenience stores, they're selling ping-pong balls. One store sells 'em by the bag, the other in a fake plastic barrel they keep by the register. Figuring that, like most things sold in convenience stores that seem ordinary, they're probably purchased for something other than their original intent (especially as they don't sell paddles. Why I don't have a detective show on the USA network is beyond me). Anyway, the only thing I could think of was a market that plays Beer Pong, but that seems too simple. Is it even more nefarious? Will we have congressional bans on hollow plastic spheres for the sake of our youth? Or am I just missing out on the sheer fun of purchasing a humble ping-pong ball?

While I await what's probably an obvious answer, here's some stuff to distract you from how clueless I probably am:

- First, papercraft, of a sort. Here's a font, that when cut out, has the fold-lines needed to make 3D letters.
- If it's got zombies, it's got to be worth a few minutes: Infectionator has you setting off a zombie infestation with a 60 second (un)life span. Strategically start your infestation where you can get the minimum number of required victims by the end of the time limit.
- Enjoy robots? And concept art? Then here's the art-blog, Nuthin' but Mech.
- Some kids discover hard rock in their teens. A select few are apparently born with it running through their veins.
- I never saw any of the "Jackass" films, but when Return of the Jedi, knowing it was about people injuring themselves in inadvisable ways is enough.
- The next time you're facing (or trying to create for fiction) a confidence trickster, here's a list of seven psychological principles they use against us. The article contains a link to a PDF of the study this summary is based on. Now no using this knowledge for evil, kids...
- Here's a puzzle platformer that starts out deceptively simple: Continuity gives you multiple "screens" you have to shuffle around like those numbered slide-puzzles to allow your avatar to retrieve a key and unlock the door to the next level.
- I've not gotten a chance to attend a Star Wars "Celebration" convention, but I wonder if they'd let me buy swag with these?
- And a few full-length holiday classics for you, if you've got a few hours to kill: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians and the rather disturbing Mexican holiday film (complete with wind-up reindeer), Santa Claus. Did I mention these are the "Mystery Science Theater 3000" versions? :)

3:37AM - I think the BBC was experimenting with Machinema...

The Doctor Who animated episode, "Dreamland" aired (in various forms) recently, and can be seen on YouTube for the moment (this page has embedded parts one and two). Story aside, I want to find who greenlit this animation technique. They may have been pressed for time or wanting to save a few quid on the budget, but it looked like test footage for "Shrek" by way of the Playstation 2, and it became quite distracting at times. David Tennant sounded more animated than his avatar, thankfully, so his performance was a pleasure to hear. I understand that this episode sort of violates what passes for Who-canon (apparently Area 51 has been mentioned before), but I've pretty much resigned myself to the idea that the oft-alluded-to "Time War" can be used as an explanation for the inclusion or exclusion of any past or future events. But anyway, I really hope the next time they do one of these animated shows that I don't feel like I should have a controller in my hand.

Other BritTV that may be of interest (and it, too, is on YouTube for the moment) is the second episode of the oft-hilarious quiz show, "Q.I." They had a fifth panelist on this time, who was none other than John Hodgman. Sadly, he didn't get to shine as much as I'd hoped (though perhaps some of the cut footage will be aired if they make "extra large" episodes of this series as they did with last season's shows), but that was made up for by the return of Bill Bailey. I thought he'd sworn off TV shows to pursue other career opportunities, but I'm glad he's back.

We interrupt this post to let you know those merciless bargain-hunter temptationalists are holding yet another Woot-Off. And Kids.Woot is having one as well. Now I'll have to wear out another F5 key...

But back to other worthwhile uses of time: "Borderlands," the video game. I finished the main mission as the Siren, and... it's weird, but the game, while fun, has a lot of warts showing that seem more like things that were overlooked rather than bad decisions. On the graphics front (and this could just be a glitch in my PC's graphics card, I'll admit), there appear to be no water effects when you drive through standing liquids (it doesn't wick up and make mist from your tires). Also, when using weapons that cause your enemies to catch fire, their bodies vanish, but bits of them (helmets, shields, the odd weapon) will float in the air until the fire dissipates, as if dying by fire turns your victim invisible before he goes up like flash paper. And is it me, or is almost everyone wearing a mask or breather so there were fewer mouths to animate? The few we do see (outside of cut scenes) are pretty bad, especially Helena Pierce. The dialogue in the game also has a few quirks. Most of the things the baddies say when they don't see you is the same stuff they say when they do see you, so it's rather hard to tell if you've been detected. Also (again with Helena), it seems that they didn't record any fitting words for major NPCs to default to once you'd finished the primary goal. Still, points to the game for letting you continue to play after finishing the main mish, and I hope the stuff I've listed are just problems that were fixed by a patch somewhere, and I've just missed it.

And just to show that I'm not the only one in my household who likes to shill for things they run across, my lovely wife would like everyone to know she digs the new "Mint Crunch" Moon Pies. Quoth my spouse, "they taste a lot like mint Girl Scout cookies." Other than by ordering them directly from the Moon Pie website, the only place we know where they are is at a "Love's" truck stop near Booneville, MO. This means the ball is now in the Girl Scout's court, and we await their response to this challenge. :)

Now, our usual closing number:

- Two things reminded me of science fiction this week. The first was the passing of the man credited with writing "The Hokey Pokey," which brought up memories of how at least one alien race reacted to it.
- The second was the publication of the Bible in a literally microscopic format, which made me recall the physical description of the Orange Catholic Bible from the novel, "Dune."
- I love the internet. It has brought me slow-mo footage of detonating tacos.
- This Christmas, you can ask for not just one, but two types of Batman utility belt replicas. Sadly, both are not designed to be worn, which is probably for the best as my waistline is more geared towards wearing a replica pair of pants from the Penguin...
- Forget the Osprey flying vehicle, we're practically at the point of inventing 'Transformers.' Make that thing have a "wearable battle armor" mode and put a few guns on it, and we'll have the start of something interesting...
- Perfect Balance 2 is a Tetris-y game of trying to arrange an array of shapes into a stable pile. There's also a bonus to be had, if you can add spherical diamonds to your stack at the end of each level.
- December belongs to C'thulhu, at least at Tor dot com.
- Add "Star Wars" to things that could be improved by the use of zombies.
- Finally, for too long have cute, cartoon penguins been plaguing... other penguins with guns. In Penguin Massacre (a bit o' blood warning), you play a well-armed penguin with upgradable firearms defending his ice-wall from a relentlessly adorable and marketable onslaught of fellow flightless waterfowl.

3:59AM - SGU and mind-reading. Two great tastes that go great together.

I can see why people might be upset at Stargate Universe. It's dragging, at least in the areas most of us liked about the whole SG setting: old cool stuff left behind by a dead civilization that could heal, kill, or [DATA EXPUNGED] you. It was like Indiana Jones with extraterrestrials, except it didn't suck. Anyway, SGU is devoting at least half of the recent shows to handling the whole "we're away from Earth, maybe forever, so we have to settle how things are run" deal. While this is less than satisfying on a sci-fi level, I think it's making me think they should have done something similar with "Star Trek: Voyager."

"Voyager" did have a few shows dealing with the Federation crew vs. the Maquis, but they came to a level of cooperation and camaraderie almost automatically. Granted, this Trek happened before "Lost"-type plots were in vogue outside of "Babylon-5" (or when a show knew it was being canceled), but I think an opportunity was missed. Plus, as was seen in the most recent SGU episode, a shifting power structure allows formerly forbidden acts to happen under new management (and, conveniently, discredit said management, if needed).

The SGU installment did end on a very nice "holy crap" moment. This was one of the best yet, at least from a dramatic point of view.

I also caught the opening episode of BBC4's teen-superpower (not "hero," by any means) show, "Misfits." The first episode is currently on YouTube (warnin': We gots yer cussin' an' adult-type si'uations 'ere, guv'nah) for the time being, if you want to take it for a spin. While overall not a bad show premise (I'm going to see if I can't track down the other episodes before a final thumbs up or down), it did hit a sci-fi pet peeve of mine: Telepathy. Specifically, telepathy with a dog... that could "think" in slang-ridden English. So as someone who has been known to portray telepathy in comics, here's several points concerning what I think makes for more believable mind-reading (and these are just off the top of my head, so if I offend any real telepaths, I apologize):

1. The human mind is incredibly complex, and it's a pretty safe bet that no two are alike. We're all a fairly unique collection of experiences, languages, emotional responses and chemical reactions at any given moment. We do have similar structures (language centers, reward systems, etc.), but even if one could "hear" another brain, it should be quite hard to pick out an actual "spoken" thought, even if it's pretty prominent. For a TV show, I'd at least have a bunch of background "noise" as the reading is attempted, if one wants the audience to hear.

2. If the mind speaks another language or belongs to a different species, I hope you brought a phrase book. I'd say other than emotions (assuming a similar frame of reference, like what the target knowingly finds offensive) or non-language perceptions (feeling a drive to move a limb, hunger, etc.), actual "reading" of someone who speaks a different language or isn't of your genome should be pretty darn difficult, especially for someone who just got their powers yesterday.

3. If you're a telepath, your mouth is superfluous. As in recent episodes of "Heroes," I don't get why telepathic people will say out loud what they can just think-speak to those they're in contact with (i.e. Parkman and the mind of Sylar). This is too often played for comedic effect, making the telepath seem like they're talking to themselves, but it's gotten old and predictable. Make them distracted, sure, but the whole "old lady staring at the person apparently talking to nobody" is a dead horse well beaten.

4. For continuity purposes (as well as to have a source for story explanations) you might want to define how mind-reading works for your character. If you can read someone's mind, the information has to arrive by some mechanism (unless you're using magic, and then all bets are off). Every brain could be constantly sending out thought-waves that telepaths can read, the telepath has some kind of "thought-radar," or there's a combination of the two. You could also use my favorite macguffin: quantum-level gobbledegook (i.e. information cannot be created or destroyed, so "telepathy" is just the ability to "read" the universe).

And these are just some of the base concepts that I dig when telepathy comes into play. This is also more of a general starting point. If, as in "Babylon-5," you've got a Psi Corps or something that has almost military-style TP training, someone able to clearly pull out what a crowded room had for breakfast, what movie they last saw, and their least favorite yoga position isn't out of the question. And though some may question the discussion of an, at best, speculative means of communication, we can say it's time well spent by calling it a "writing exercise." :)

While I go exercise my writing on designing planet Argos (more on that later), here's some other items of note:

- In a perfect future with jetpacks and space stations, we'd have these special glasses, but they'd be animated and have a riffing A.I. that entertains you as you endure bad movies.
- This is just a weird item: Michael Jackson helped compose the music for the 'Sonic 3' video game.
- Here's another one: Scientists accidentally discover a near-perfect shade of blue.
- This is just a weird game: Dale & Peakot is a side-scroller where you collect eggs with the help of your shotgun and your magic chicken.
- Mark Coleran has an online portfolio of all of the computer and tech interfaces he's designed for movies.
- I had no idea that startled cats could 'hover' to safety.
- I also had no idea that Cookie Monster could sing along with the German metal group Rammstein. Now that's a must-have toy.
- From the 'why couldn't I have thought of this and made a t-shirt out of it' files, we have this Lovecraftian ditty from an IRC chatlog.
- BBC One has created a holiday-themed identification video featuring the Doctor and a new way to fly the TARDIS.
- And we end with tower defense strategy in Creeper World. Defend Odin City from "the creeper," activate the rift totems, and let the city escape to safety. You also have movable units, which is a plus.

3:14AM - A posting largely about video games, but you don't have to play 'em to poke fun...

A few posts ago, I shared a trailer for a rather dull-looking bus simulation game. I think I've found something I'd want to play even less: Archie's Riverdale Run (scroll down for the trailer). "Archie" is one of those intellectual properties that has almost become a parody of itself, hard to see in any light other than ironic (at least for me). As a humorous look at hip 'n' happenin' teens, it's about as relevant to modern-day youth as "Richie Rich" is to students of economic theory. In fact, the only other attention I've seen paid to the comic comes from the blog MightyGodKing who has long made the case that Betty Cooper is freakin' nuts and will probably (language warning) someday do something that would make Hannibal Lecter pause. I still see the "Archie Digests" for sale in grocery stores, so somebody must still be out there buying them, but the last time I read the comic had to be... well, let's just say it probably was some time before Mario made the leap from arcades to home consoles. I also watched the short lived late-60's TV show in re-runs, though I can't recall a single storyline.

So anyway, I'm rather puzzled by the development of what looks like a pretty dull game. I'm not saying you need explosions and mayhem (though in Riverdale, that might be ironically funny) to have a good time, but running around doing chores and collecting flowers/hamburgers/love notes isn't exactly going to make me run to Best Buy. I do have to hand it to them, though: By not trying to stereotypically "update" the Archie brand (other than by losing his bow tie somewhere along the way), they may have created a better product. I mean, imagine Arch and Jughead in gangsta or hipster outfits, driving around in a beat-up Ford Fiesta.

Another media decision I don't get is the upcoming movie based on the game, 'Battleship.' I say "based on," because after reading the description, it doesn't sound like securing the IP for the classic grid-based guessing game was required. It sounds as if someone licensed "Dungeons & Dragons" in order to make "Reign of Fire." I do realize that the "Battleship" brand is what's allowing this film to be made, but... it just seems so unnecessary. If you told me there was a movie called "Navy vs. Aliens," I'd probably be just as intrigued. I also can't see this as being a huge move for Milton-Bradley, as even if someone winds up digging this film, the old pegs-n-plastic game is most likely not going to fly off the shelves. Maybe an Xbox Live version with clips from the movie and significant mechanics changes, but I think even the electronic tabletop version has seen its best days.

If it does turn out to be a decent movie, I propose that studios place the names of random products, games, toys, etc. into a hat and draw them whenever they're stuck for an idea. They then proceed to produce said film as if the owner of that product had hired them to do so, changing the name, of course... unless they can secure a sponsorship deal afterwords. :)

I've received several pleas to postpone any deconstruction of my suitcase full of vacuum tubes until I can find someone who can tell me if they're of value or not. I shall endeavor to seek wise counsel on this from local businesses and/or antique shops specializing in electronic devices. I did do some searches on what others have done with these tubes, and I came across a few interesting items, including a lightning bug, two galleries of miniature sculptures inside vacuum tubes (gallery one contains "fine art marble statue" style nekkidness, if that's an issue, and can be seen here, and gallery two is here), and some simple yet attractive jewelry.

Well, my Marvel script has been accepted. It's an 11-page tale that I don't think I can say too much about (I haven't asked how specific I can be) at the moment, except that it'll appear online before it appears in print. When I have more details about this "strange" story, I'll let everyone in on it. :)

Until then, here are other links to things strange as well as (hopefully) interesting:

- Most ads I have to watch in order to get to the trailer I want to see or the flash game I want to play are burdens that must be endured. However, I saw a rather clever one that I actually wanted to share.
- R.I.F.T. is a fun platformer where you, a robot, must navigate puzzling side-scrolling levels to feed cake to an overweight blob of a "master." It's kind of dark, if that's supposed to be us in the future...
- How cool would it be to clean out an old building and discover a two-lane bowling alley dating from the days of prohibition?
- In honor of my sister, the uber-librarian, I offer up this list of fail-ridden conversations with used booksellers.
- A walking blood-n-gore warning on this zombie rally photo collection. There are some fairly clever slogans, at least for the undead.
- And LoLcats have become so pervasive, it takes a pretty good matching of caption to photo to crack a smile these days, but this one did the trick.
- I think I might need to take up coin collecting, at least with denominations featuring Time Lords.
- Here's a challenging solitaire game, Tripeaks Reserve. Start by selecting a card from the bottom row, then attempt to clear the cards in the field above by selecting ones that are one higher or lower than the card in the discard pile.
- Continuing last post's holiday ornament links, here's 11 'geeky' selections for your tree.
- Reminiscent of a previously-posted gravity-gun game, Tank Defence has you protecting a central goal while shooting/propelling enemy forces into each other and the walls (be sure to click "new game" to begin, the opening screen is an interactive time-waster).

3:32AM - Yes, I needed more mutants and guns in my life...

Video game time! Those villains at Steam had a special on the game "Borderlands," and their sale price plus peer pressure got the better of me, and I bit. If nothing else, it was interesting to see another post-apocalyptic game and put it through its paces (for a few hours, anyway). So what does "Borderlands" hold for the discerning civilization-in-ruins aficionado?

It's got the same basic gray/brown look as "Fallout" for the most part. It looks as if a society has come and gone and left behind mutant monsters and psychopathic humans who wear lots of leather and like their guns a little too much. Which would have a bit more kick, story-wise, if it didn't take place on another planet. If you thought "Fallout 3" had too much RPG and not enough FPS, then "Borderlands" has got you covered. You get to level up, gaining new powers and skills, and use of certain weapons increases your proficiency with them, which is a nice mechanic. However, the emphasis is on pointing your gun and pulling the trigger. There are no dialogue trees, just missions to go blow someone up and hopefully get some new kind of gun in the process. Which isn't bad, don't get me wrong; gameplay is quite satisfying in this regard. Just don't look for a lot of deep thinking to go with your sniper rifle. :)

You also get vehicular combat/travel, some interesting wasteland to look at, and characters that manage to combine character with caricature in a pleasing way. I've heard there are issues with the multiplayer (though I haven't tried it yet) as well as some of the nuts-and-bolts of the game, but in the end, it's still a decent amount of mindless fun.

Speaking of dark futures, there's talk that Judge Dredd will get another shot at the silver screen. I must admit to having less Dredd in my geek resume than I'd like. I saw the Stallone film (and wasn't enthused), and I later heard that the movie had problems due to "Robocop" adopting a lot of the tone and look of Dredd's character. From what I've seen (and the little that's passed through my hands), it's got a load of potential, and I'd like to see it in British hands rather than American ones (especially after what happened to "Hellblazer" when it became "Constantine" starring Keanu Reeves). And let me also put out the desire to see the Judge Dredd Pinball Game put back in arcades. The Judge also made an appearance in this list of the best and worst future cops and vehicles.

And closing out this sci-fi romp, the even-tempered Harlan Ellison expresses interest in being in on J.J. Abrams' "Star Trek 2," complete with mention of the feud with Roddenberry and aplomb at doubters that he'd be right for the project. He could always try to get a gig with the upcoming remake of 'The Black Hole' as a science adviser.

And speaking of black holes:

- First up, from a little-seen edit of "Star Wars," it's revealed that it took Obi-Wan Kenobi several tries to finally distract those stormtroopers near the tractor beam controls.
- This should give everyone their dose of unbearable cute for the next month: A kitten making "jazz hands."
- Bring a lot of spare time to the oddly-named smartass dot com, especially if you click the "games" link on the left. There are emulators of DOS and old console game systems to be had, coded (I believe) in Java. There area also links to first-run movies, though I'd steer clear of those, especially at work and/or if you fear a visit from the MPAA.
- Any time left? Bring along your love of vectors and 'splosions and play Paper Cannon. Blow up the critters by landing a grenade-like cannonball right next to them.
- I have found the proper way to teach science: Use a periodic table made of cupcakes.
- And I have found the proper way to teach art: Arcade expressionism.
- Here's a list of some of the most bizarre super-powers in comics, which earns my respect by not having the majority of them come from "The Legion of Super Heroes."
- We close with Shrink It, a game where you shrink objects by clicking and enlarging others by holding "space" and clicking (you need to have "mass" available to do this, however). Your goal is to get the blue shape into the goal.

3:39PM - I have a series of tubes...

Happy Black Friday Weekend to everyone! I hope you're either having fun shopping a bit (like my wife) or feeling happy to avoid the whole mess (like me). I think the word "doorbuster" is fast becoming my most hated cliche lately, outdoing several phrases from the Oxford English Dictionary of texting-speak. We'll see if this year is a turnaround for retailers or if more storefronts will go sliding into the aether.

Onto the blog-photo topic: Vacuum tubes. I went to a garage sale and acquired a sizable amount of them. Other than having possible use in an art project (hopefully involving LEDs, if I can manage to do the required math), are these still in demand? I know some sound and amp systems still use tubes, though from a few cursory searches, those items still have tubes being made especially for them. I also have no way of testing them (unless someone knows a neat trick with a voltmeter), so unless I've got the last Delco 5X4/G on Earth, they've probably got a date with my workshop. :)

Not much is happening media-wise, at least, not on our TVs. Behind the screens, a few things are happening, like production being halted on 'FlashForward'. While still an interesting premise, I fear we may have several too many plotlines going on at once, and not all of them apparently relevant and/or exciting. In the novel, the cause of the flashes was known to the world fairly early on, and then it was followed by some events that had a bearing on whether or not the future was set as it was seen. While the series has some interesting ideas (the death cult, the mysterious people who walked around while everyone else was knocked out), I think they're moving far too slowly for a first season.

I'm always a sucker for hearing what J. Michael Straczynski is up to, and it turns out he's quite the busy fellow. I wouldn't mind reading his "Silver Surfer 2" script, even though I didn't care much for either Fantastic Four movie. I still think that a lot of the "big science" type comic books really need the rest of the Marvel universe in the background somewhere, or the result looks kind of silly. Then again, it would be nice to see the huge form of Galactus dwarfing the Earth...

Since it's Black Friday weekend, I'm bringing these to you at 50% off:

- This isn't an "I despise 'Twilight'" link, it's an "I love Rifftrax" link. Here's almost 10 minutes of clips from their take on 'New Moon's predecessor."
- Reminding me of MTV's many logo variants, artist Logan Walters gives us The Many Faces of a Space Invader.
- I've never touched "World of Warcraft" because I know an addiction when I see it, but I still found interesting this article about other online games that rose and fell since WoW came to be.
- A cousin to those "race a car while staying upright" games, it's Tank In Action. Side-scroll your tank over an obstacle course, blasting the odd problem out of the way with your turret.
- Fans of the anime known (in the U.S. anyway) as "Star Blazers" might want to try asking Santa for an amazing model of the Space Battleship Yamato. It's under a grand and comes with a remote control, so that's reasonable, right?
- If that's too pedestrian for your holiday festivities, here's 10 Christmas items befitting royalty, or anyone with a spare million dollars or two lying around.
- And just in time for the holidays, it's a new zombie outbreak simulator!
- This is how to lure casual gamers into wargamers: Battle of Lemolad combines resource management and "Bejeweled."
- We end with comics. Namely, crossing classic comic strips with classic comic books. Enjoy!

2:16AM - Wasn't it just the Fourth of July a minute ago?

It's been a busy pre-holiday, and I just finished laying waste to a printing deadline. Plus, Joshua's mass keeps increasing, which seems a mystery given his volume of output. Ah, well, maybe it comes from the same place the Hulk's extra muscle comes from.

Since it's Turkey Day here in the states, I thought some appropriate safety/instructional items might be in order. We start with eight deep-fried turkey disasters, demonstrating in full video how not to handle hot oil and dead fowl. If you want to do it the right way (or one of several right ways, I'm assuming), there's this how-to page. Scroll to the bottom for Alton Brown's (all praise be to the Alton) program on how he recommends doing the deed, complete with items from his local hardware store... and a fireman's outfit. M'self, I've never had deep fried turkey before, so I have no idea if it's worth all of the trouble (though I believe some cities have a place where you can take your bird for frying). The most complicated turkey we did involved a brine recipe from television (all praise be to the Alton), but this year we're probably going with the old reliable method of just sticking it in the oven with some foil on.

The holiday season also gives me an excuse to post a clip from "A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving," featuring the jazzy tune, "Little Birdie". It's also got Snoopy duking it out with a lawn chair, which always sent me into hysterics... and still does, yeah...

Also, a little compilation of Turkey Day clips from Mystery Science Theater 3000.

I'm not sure if the FFN I just did will be up on IESB.net this week or next; due to the aforementioned deadline, I got behind and didn't finish the strip until today. I also don't know if those running the site took off for any weekend eat-a-thons or not, so we'll see. The topic was about how "New Moon" blew "The Dark Knight" off of its gothic perch as the movie with the biggest opening weekend on record. Other than the snarky t-shirt I did about "Twilight," I don't begrudge anyone for liking it. I like lots of things that have more cheese in them than a pizza buffet. What worries me is that between that series and movies like "Transformers 2" and "2012," we're going to get more and more blockbuster films that don't have a whole lot going for them in the realm of, for lack of a better term, well-crafted scripts. I'm hoping that the market for supernatural romance is flooding theaters because "finally" someone put such a novel on the screen. I've seen the romance racks at Barnes & Noble, and it looks like the bodice-rippers have started appropriating themes that, until recently, were in the realms of sci-fi, fantasy, and horror. In addition to vampires and werewolves, there's a lot of time travel (usually where a modern woman travels back in time to ravash a few Scottish nobles or something), ghosts, and psychic powers. The sub-genre even has a name: Paranormal Romance, and it seems to be trucking right along. I wonder if this is part of the reason they're remaking "Highlander?" I can almost hear the bodices and kilts being ripped as we speak...

So other than madly cleaning the house for the in-laws to drop in and dine, I'm busy scripting the next few issues of ps238 as well as a speculative script for Marvel Comics! They've told me to go ahead and take a crack at another 11-page short for one of their main characters, and I plan on delivering it to them before the pie is served tomorrow. Sadly, they didn't want my revival of Dazzler. I thought for sure an epic battle between her (on roller skates, of course) and Stilt-Man would be just the thing to rekindle an all-ages interest in comic books. Ah, well, the world may not be ready for such an epic saga...

Speaking of epic (possibly in an ironic sense of the word):

- What is the Matrix? It's made of Lego and stop-motion. Link goes to a page full of YouTube clips of this fun work, and puts me in the mood for a Lego "Enter the Matrix" Wii game...
- Continuing on the topic of Lego, here's an artsy and kind of whimsical way to use them in public.
- A friend of the artiste who constructed my Johnanes Brahms action figure has a blog of artistic pancakes. This guy should have a restaurant in San Diego or something.
- It's like a combination of Tetris and a Jedi training exercise with a lightsaber: Glow Cut requires quick mouse action to slice the falling shapes until they're small enough (they turn yellow/gold) to disintegrate. Allow too many bits to fill up the bottom and it's all over.
- I just added another item to the "things I never knew existed" file: A coloring book from the movie, 'Dune.' You can still get copies (albeit not in mint condition) on Amazon.
- Some pretty neat software turns any webcam into a 3D scanner. The page contains a video link of the program in action.
- And the first "Quake" game (or at least, the shareware version, it appears) has been faithfully ported to flash. Slower computers beware.
- Adidas is going to make Star Wars shoes. I do hope they aren't being made by Gungan slave labor.
- Finally, in case there aren't enough holidays to celebrate between now and January first, here are a few lesser-known ones in the month of December. I'll be sure to bring my flashlight. :)

3:01AM - Back home, all present and accounted for, and bus video games.

I'm still catching up from ShaunCon at the KC Game Fair, so I'm burning the midnight oil and pressing even the newest family members into service, as you can see. Thanks to everyone who came by, and I wish I'd had copies of "North 40" to pass out, but alas, we used up the first several issues at our summer conventions.

I made allusions to a game in Monday's "Backward Compatible" called "Bus Simulator." I assure you, it exists. Their homepage shows the cover art, which looks just a tad similar to a certain other motor vehicle related series, but minus the theft, the grand, and (as far as you're concerned), the auto. It looks to be a pretty dull game, which made it rather intriguing as to why they'd release a trailer that's over seven minutes long. I half expected to see something along the lines of what happens if you accidentally cause an accident. You don't appear to even get a flat tire. You'd think that there would at least be a "you're fired" screen. But, no... you just stay the same old "Carlos," driving through virtual New York. Forever...

Though there are two other bus-related video games out there I'm aware of. One is being played to raise money for the "Child's Play" charity. It's part of a game from Penn & Teller (details on it and its charitable uses can be seen here), and it's a minigame where you have to drive a bus from Tuscon to Las Vegas, in real-time, at 45mph. The bus has some random elements to its handling, so you can't just tape the joysticks forward and leave it while you go off to work or play something a bit more exciting. And you earn one whole point in the game for pulling off this mighty task.

The other is a game from the old Dreamcast system. All I know about it is that it's called Tokyo Bus Guide, it's in Japanese, and it's supposed to be extraordinarily hard to master.

I've mentioned it before, but thanks to this teaser, I may have to start watching Smallville... at least those episodes written by comic book authors. It looks like a fair amount of cashola has gone into the sets and props, though I hope they keep most of them out of well-lit scenes; broad daylight is not your brightly-colored costume's friend if you want to be taken seriously by that vicious, cowardly lot you do battle with. :)

Gerry Anderson fans take notice: They're going ahead with a big-screen adaptation of the short-lived TV series UFO. A friend of mine loaned me the shows on video tape (ask your parents what that is) a long time ago, and while it wasn't a bad show, it didn't really show me what it was going to do with itself long-term. It was set in a Sci-Fi Pulp version of the 1980's with aliens coming to harvest our organs. A group called SHADO protects humanity, led by the gung-ho named Ed Straker. You can see more details on Wikipedia, including a bit more about the invaders themselves. The Variety article still puts SHADO under a Hollywood film studio, so... maybe it's a little more tongue-in-cheek? Movies seem to be heading into over-the-top-goofy territory lately (though if by design or by accident I can't say), so maybe it'll be a PG-rated toy commercial with lots of explosions rather than a harsh-n-gritty updating. Either way, the inclusion of a "Fringe" cast member will at least make me give it another look at some point, and if nothing else, we should get some interesting spaceship designs out of the deal. For those who've never seen it, here's the very 70's intro, including Straker's future-car.

While I try to savagely destroy a looming deadline or two, here's a few things I found around the world wide webs:

- It's been a while since I had a bacon-related link, and I know some find those tiresome, so this is merely an image that even bacon detractors might find of some interest, though your arteries might run in fear.
- Another image, this one for the mechanical engineers in the audience, or for those of us that like to repurpose stuff in our desk drawers.
- I think I've finally found the brass-n-gears gizmo that could solve all of my problems.
- Relive the heady days of game consoles loaded with 4 kilobytes of memory by playing some old Atari 2600 favorites in-browser, including "Adventure!"
- This looks interesting: the Great Game appears to be a shared interactive fiction with a supernatural streak. They've just "restarted" it, so it can be experienced from the ground up.
- A little warning about language and cartoony gore before we present this handy guide to how to ride a pony.
- If you've managed to save a penny or two for holiday shopping, DealNews.com has a decent amount of Black Friday sale info.
- ThinkGeek has a really nifty bib and utensil set, but I do have to ask: Where's the version with the trench and X-Wing, instead?
- We wind up this linkfest with a game that requires both hands: The Forest Temple is a platformer with two heroes you control simultaneously, "Fire Boy" and "Water Girl." Keep them away from their respective opposite element while gathering gems and finishing levels.

2:10AM - In the end, RC eagles swoop down and carry off the minis of Frodo and Sam...

ShaunCon at the KC Game Fair is well underway, and the assembled include miniatures gamers with some really impressive "Battle for Mordor" props. They even have a Mount Doom. I will dutifully keep an eye out for vinegar and baking soda.

My "next door dealer" is a table selling some very spiffy stained-glass dice. They also make d12 tealight lamps, but they sold out of those already. The table's proprietor assures me a website for their wares will be up soon, and I assured him I'd keep an eye out. He also guaranteed that each die would produce at least one roll, though subsequent attempts may vary depending on the outcome of the first.

Someone has made the case that we nerds are spoiled. Compared to geek life a few decades ago, the article states, we nerds have got it easy. The internet is one big fanzine, where shows are argued about and saved or canceled based on the tides of the geekosphere. Several statements are made that I do have to take issue with:

1. "If we can’t watch a show online within a day after it’s broadcast, we dismiss the network it’s on as out of touch." While I agree that bittorrent has made insta-TV out of just about any show that's within reach of a DVR and an internet connection, the behavior is hardly limited to geekdom. Lots of sporting events, talk radio programs, and media of every entertainment stripe hits The Pirate Bay after someone edits out the commercials. The networks themselves are starting to put their content up on the web for viewing less than 24 hours after broadcast as well, so I'd say this is just a symptom of changing delivery methods than something unique to the geek.

2. Incredibly creative people who could be doing amazing original work are stuck trying to figure out how to make “GI Joe” into a movie that will appeal to 18- to 30-year-olds, when the toys themselves are intended for 6- to 12-year-olds. They're also remaking films that are less than 30 years old, re-adapting Shakespeare to new settings, or making sequels to movies that really didn't need one, and those are outside of the realm of nerditude. Right now, the money backing these projects wants sure-fire winners, and that usually leads to reworking proven formulas and properties across the board. I just wind up scratching my head when a property is purchased and bears no resemblance to the original beyond the name (I'm thinking of stuff like "Underdog").

3. "I think it’s time for us, as true nerds, to relinquish some of our power. To let bad shows get cancelled without complaint and to quit obsessively searching for details about movies in development." I'm perfectly happy when bad shows get canceled. He seems to miss that more often, good shows get canceled. "Firefly," even if you hate it, was one of the most critically acclaimed works from Joss Whedon (perhaps leading to the "Dollhouse" campaign he notes earlier in his article), and it was taken off the air. So, too, was the live-action "The Tick," "Witchblade," "Babylon-5: Crusade" (love or hate B5, Gary Cole was awesome, and speaking of him...), "American Gothic," etc. I don't know too many shows that were kept on the air by nerd-force that were bad (aside from, and this is only my opinion, "Jericho"). But even if a show isn't one's cup of tea, if enough fans can convince a network to keep their show on the air, I think that's not entirely negative, especially when one looks at the history of classic TV programs that were allowed more than a handful of episodes to find their legs. I would add, however, that if enough of these shows see a groundswell of "support" with no resulting support of viewership or ticket purchases, the powers what is are less likely to listen in the future.

More "Under the Dome" news, in that Steven Speilberg is already looking to develop a TV series based on the book. Unless they plan on giving it a definitive beginning, middle, and end, it could get old quite quickly, unless they plan on altering how the story ends (or goes on, as the case may be). If it's on HBO or another cable channel that allows pretty much anything to happen, I'll be more intrigued... but still wondering why nobody's developing a "Dark Tower" series. :)

Back to the KC Game Fair for me, but for you, we have:

- I may have to sneak some of these onto the wife's Kitchen Aid. I wonder if she'd notice?
- She has noticed when I've creatively used a lawnmower to... ah... "landscape." However, I've got nothing on these guys.
- Now it's time for irresponsibility with motor vehicles in I Hate Traffic. Check your goals for each level, and I hope you enjoy "curling" a semi as much as I did.
- The internet, or parts of it, as compared to other vices.
- Okay, forget going to Mars, we need our own ring system!
- I'm obliged by law to post this next clip (with a small language warning, in regards to a reference of female anatomy above the waistline): the ballad of the Monster Manual.
- I'm also required to post this gag reel from the latest 'Star Trek' movie.
- And we finish with Ninjaglove: Defeat these minigames as quickly as you can to demonstrate your mastery of martial (time wasting) arts.

3:30AM - Meet me at the Fair...

The KC Game Fair starts tomorrow, and I've got a lot of loot to haul in for the Gamer Garage Sale as well as the charity auction. I'm not sure which venue of item distribution will get what, but among the treasures are several unopened action figures from "Star Trek: The Next Generation," an unopened but battered "Spawn Alley Playset," the boardgame "Dragon Strike," and a few packs of "Babylon-5" Micro Machines. Yes, our son's arrival means he's going to get new toys so all of these have to go. I'm looking forward to eventually housing a very large Lego collection, just as soon as they're not misinterpreted as food (and [language warning] Penny-Arcade had a very good point about another Lego product on this topic).

I'm about halfway through Stephen King's "Under the Dome," and we've hit more than a few standard King-isms: Everyone who has a computer owns a Mac Powerbook. A character mentions one of his movie adaptations ("It's just like The Mist!"). Psychic (or at least, telepathic) phenomena give the characters information to act on they otherwise wouldn't have. Characters too young to remember Def Leppard utter slang phrases and song lyrics that might have been current about 20 years ago (what skateboarding 13-year-old would say "video at 11"?). This isn't to say it's a bad story, by any stretch; So far, it's a decent page-turner, and what's driving the story's central event has yet to be revealed, so I'm still hooked.

Turning to graphic novels, for those, like me, who thought the pilot episode of "Global Frequency" should have gone on to series, take heart: it looks like it's going to the CW. I hope they get the same effects team as the one that works with "Supernatural." A lot of the effects needed for the stories (at least from the comic) will require some pretty creative thinking if they don't want to break the bank. For those who missed the original pilot, "this video has a few select clips, though it really doesn't deliver the scope of the concept. I will miss Michelle Forbes as Amanda Zero, though; she did an excellent job.

To restore balance in the universe, some evil entertainment news: I never played "Far Cry," and about all I know is that it was a decently reviewed first-person-shooter on or near a tropical island and the hero wears a Hawaiian shirt. I'm hoping the director of the movie based on it knows more than me, but that director "is Uwe Boll, and this is the trailer for the film. I think we need to make a deal: if Boll gets to keep working, then we get MST3K back on at least one standard-tier cable channel.

If pixelated entertainment is your bag, I have to endorse "Gratuitous Space Battles." It reminds me a lot of how me and my gaming pals used to play "Car Wars": You set a budget, armed your vehicles, and then tried to blow each other to kingdom come. That's basically the gist of "GSB," and it's great to watch. Huge, hulking ships laser the cookies out of each other, shields fall, not-so-serious banter between ships scrolls in the communications window, and ships end their service with most satisfying kabooms. I could watch it all day as a screen saver.

And to those still awaiting orders from our store (at least those whom the post office can deliver to), my new helpers have gotten everything ready to go, more supplies have arrived from the warehouse, and everything remaining will ship out tomorrow. While the elves get cracking on figuring out how to get postage to come out of our Dymo printer, we offer the following:

- This game, Bru is an interesting twist on Popcap's "Zuma" game. Knock at least three balls of the same color together to keep the board from becoming too crowded.
- Some guy compiled a list (though he grants it might not be definitive, as many sites had been lost) of the most popular MIDI music files on Geocities.
- If you're like me, and I know I am, you've seen a ton of sci-fi shows that try to guess what music will be like in the far-flung future (most of them kind of embarrassing, like "the band 'Andromeda' from "Buck Rogers"). Today, we have some actual examples of some new high-tech instruments.
- If you like those slingshot-based games where you get cash for upgrades by going the distance, then Fly, Squirrel, Fly may be what you've been looking for. It takes a while to build up a decent set of powerups, but it's still a decent descendant of "Nanaca Crash."
- Here's a new image blog that might crack a smile: Autocomplete Me shows a few of the rather odd results people have received when Google tries to guess what it is you're going to type.
- Someone invented a "laptop desk" that attaches to a car steering wheel. This invention is for sale, but be sure to click on the customer images (below the main product image).
- I found this interesting: A New York Times bestselling author posts about her income from one novel, which shows how tough the biz can be.
- Though not everyone's cup of tea, I kind of enjoyed Rave Rider. It's a variant of those "physics racing" games, where the goal is to keep the car upright through a side-scrolling obstacle course. Collect cash and powerups as you make your way through the various levels.

11:32PM - Of Doctors and Hawkmen...

The latest installment of Doctor Who, "The Waters of Mars," has aired on the BBC and... in other places, and it really exemplifies how strong characters can carry a show. It's kind of why I like Stephen King books most of the time: If I believe in the people the story is about, it doesn't matter how ludicrous their opposition is. And "The Waters of Mars" had a pretty lame monster, in my opinion, though not the lamest by far (I think that honor still goes to the Zygons and their hand-puppet Loch Ness monster). What really made me like this episode was Tennant and what his Doctor went through. We got to see him introspective, resolute, manic, reflective, and horrified at himself and what he's done. He's really bringing an interesting "close" to his version of the character, and his will be a very tough act to follow.

I don't watch "Smallville," but I think I need to start. I didn't watch it because I didn't dig "Lois and Clark" too much, and besides, I was certain (like a lot of shows I like) that it would get canceled if I started tuning in. Plus, I didn't think it could top "Superman, the Animated Series" for stories that better fit the character. The last live-action TV version of Supes I'd followed regularly was "The Adventures of Superboy," which probably set the character back a few years (though there were some bright spots. I thought the Johnny Casanova episode, where a romantically inept hunk drinks a formula and turns into an unattractive yet irresistible ladykiller had a humorous charm). They had two different actors play the "teen of steel," and the show was a pretty low point for the career of Michael J. Pollard as Mr. Mxyzptlk.

But back to Smallville: They're bringing in more of the DC Universe, which is clashing with the usual hazards of live-action comic book adaptation. They had The Wonder Twins appear last week, and now we're going to get Hawkman. What brings this to my attention is that he's going to be played by SG-1's Michael "Daniel Jackson" Shanks in a very faithful and therefore completely dippy-looking outfit. Hawkman is also one of those heroes that has a very confusing past, even discounting the retconning. There needs to be at least one winged hero in every comic book universe, and they're accepted because they look cool, not because they're effective. I mean, Superman types (the F.I.S.S. set for ps238) are a dime a dozen, but getting a dude with wings (even artificial ones) on your super-team is kind of like having a Klingon as a bridge officer; you get a little extra gravitas for the cast photo. But in a live action situation... I dunno. I would have hired Brian Blessed, myself, but mostly for the extras and cut footage that would show up on the DvD collection.

And I mentioned Stephen King in the opening 'graph, and so he appears again, announcing a new Dark Tower novel. Now, I loves me some King, but I'm among the first to list the things I didn't like about The Dark Tower series (most of "Song of Susannah," the way that Mordred was squandered as a character, the ultimate fate of Randal Flagg, etc.). I will say, however, that I liked the "Lord of the Rings through the heroes of a kid from the 50's" vibe it had. An author grows up on cowboy movies, pulp sci-fi/fantasy novels, and movies from the age of drive-ins, and he synthesizes it all into a seven plus volume epic. Even his self-insertion as a character isn't too overly done, more with some self-depricating navel-gazing than "Mary-Sue" behavior. But anyway, while I am glad to see more from that universe, I kind of wish he'd write perhaps the "final" journey to the Dark Tower as a story, but that might be asking too much, I guess...

The article also mentions developing a script for "Cell," which I think is one of his weakest stories, mostly because whoever told him how computers and viruses work either knew next to nothing or just wanted him to stop asking questions and leave the Best Buy he was hanging around in. Given all the tween-oriented supernatural stuff in the pipeline, I wouldn't mind seeing his short story, "Everything's Eventual" being worked into a series, perhaps for HBO.

In the meantime, I need to crack open his new novel, "Under the Dome," and offer up the following:

- We're coming to the end of a decade, so it's time to start up the best lists, this one for TV... though I have to say they've picked some durn good ones.
- Here's one for the Tetris fans: Drop 3. Maneuver shapes that mostly don't stack to eliminate groups of three.
- Here's a few things (seventy, in total) you may not have known about Marvel Comics. Like that Michael Jackson almost bought the company, once...
- In the same vein, I was unaware that Rocky Balboa was almost a member of GI Joe. A crossover with "Rambo" would have been interesting, especially if you pitted his bow against Rocky's boxing-glove GI Joe stick.
- Time for a puzzle game that reminds me a bit of "Lemmings": Meeblings. Use the powers of your various Meeblings to rescue the rest of your "tribe" on each level.
- The Nerdic Empire needs a king, for his throne has been made ready.
- Here's a list (with videos) of seven totally sweet enemy spaceships. I would have included the Shadows.
- Another list, this one from his Weirdness himself: The nine most underrated funny songs according to Weird Al.
- We wrap up with martial arts that looks a bit inspired by a certain Samurai named Jack: Forever Samurai has a nicely animated mouse-oriented hack-n-slash system that's very satisfying, with fluid animation and bonuses for not getting killed (beyond the benefit of not dying).

2:25AM - Just one more shirt design, coming soon...

"Star Trek" is currently one of the "evergreen" geeky-tee topics that everyone recognizes on sight, along with "Star Wars," "Super Mario," and C'thulhu. Hmm... I need to do another C'thluhu shirt soon, I think, just to keep up with the quota. Anyway, after reviewing the ELO and comedy-ridden musical ode, "Redshirts," I think I've finally figured out what purpose the disposable crimson-clad personnel serve in the procreation of our most vigorous genetic code. Anyway, it'll be available in the coming weeks, and I'll post a little notice when it materializes.

On to artifacts/relics, and a garage sale find: An original "Magic 8-Ball," complete with box. This was only a buck, so I couldn't pass it up. The packaging lists, among its many functions, "conversation piece" and "paperweight." What struck me was that it's not very round, tapering towards the base, and is kind of distorted. From what little I can find, this was common for the first-run balls. The bottom window looks to be made of glass, and the fluid level, sadly, is less than ideal. The fortune-die is also unreadable, appearing to be totally black. I don't think there's a way to restore it to its original future-guessing function (this page has a dissection of a modern 8-ball, and it seemed to provide quite the challenge), so I'll just have to enjoy the campy box graphics and let the coming years remain a mystery. Still, cool deal for a dollar.

Okay, I've been advised that "Dragon Age: Origins" is fun, awesome, and that I should stay the heck away if I want my life to continue. I have a friend that's actually playing "Champions Online" to prevent himself from playing "Dragon Age." A bit like quitting smoking by taking up heroin, but to each their own, I suppose. :) It does appear to have its fair share of bugs, including NPC heads enlarging, detaching and flying towards the viewer. I'm sure calls in to medication help lines has increased among players.

Not learning from "Tripping the Rift," SyFy is embarking into animation again, with Outer Space Astronauts. It looks, from the still, like a color version of those animated stings at the end of every "Battlestar Galactica" episode. Sci-fi, as a genre, is ripe for comedy, so I hope they pull it off in their initial 5-episode mission.

Speaking of sci-fi, there's a movie in theaters called "The Box." A great many fans of genre fiction were probably already quite familiar with the tale thanks to the "New Twilight Zone" episode, Button, Button" (here's part two). I'll don't know if the film does anything new or interesting with the concept, but the best flavor of the story I've seen is this hilarious clip. I think I know people like that...

Here's a sentence I never dreamed I'd read: "Murray says the warning was needed because students didn't heed his "reasonable request" to stop the meeping." Yes, students managed to disrupt class by forming a Facebook-fueled "Beaker Brigade," and generally making everything a bit more surreal.

So since we've segued into the surreal, here's the internet:

- A fan-film addition to "Doctor Horrible" has been made! It's a ten-part YouTube (or whichever service you pick from their page) festival of prequelity where our story takes a Horrible Turn.
- Fireworks + toy cars + slo-mo filming = every 10-year-old boy's dream clip.
- Here's a movie tie-in that seems so incredibly obvious that I have no rational explanation why it hasn't existed for years: Garden Jawas.
- Ninja Cat has returned, stalking his nemesis, the Black Feather.
- Any flaws in game mechanics are made up for by the fact that you're beating zombies into pulp: Zombie Exploder has you dragging either your fists or feet into the path of hungry zombies in an effort to pummel them back into motionless corpses (or parts of corpses, at any rate).
- Auto Tune has been a part of popular music for a while, and the "Know Your Meme" YouTube show has the history of the invention, accompanied by Prof. Weird Al Yankovic.
- Yo Ho Ho Cannon is a pretty cheesy pirate game, but I kind of liked the challenge of having to aim sequentially-firing cannons at one target...
- Here's a link to 15 questions asked in Google job interviews. I feel soooooo dumb now...
- Remember when computers in movies were futuristic? They had to create those graphics without the benefit of said future-machines.
- And we close with another game, Spectro Destroyer. Bounce your beam off of colored walls, changing its 'spectrum' to that of your final target.

11:53PM - I feel cheated out of several Earths, but I'll cope...

Other than the cumbersome name, the new Justice League animated movie, 'Crisis on Two Earths' looks pretty durn spiffy. It doesn't replace what I would have loved to see, which was allegedly canceled when "Justice League: Unlimited" was ended: A whole season covering "Crisis on Infinite Earths." But I'll take what I can get, even if it's only two measly Earths (grin).

This was unexpected: J.J. Abrams to tackle 'Micronauts.' If you don't remember this toy line, it was almost like someone mashed Lego with a line of sci-fi action figures. Every "Micronaut" set (consisting of one action figure and some accessories all the way up to huge vehicles with more parts than a car engine) could be taken apart and fit together with bits from other sets. In addition to having spring-loaded missile launchers, motorized robot parts, and more futuristic thingamabobs (both in opaque and translucent plastic), the toy line got enough of a following to get a Marvel comic that really enriched its background. Much like how they did for "ROM: Spaceknight," the writers created a pretty neat hidden universe (the "microverse," naturally) and even got a crossover with the X-Men. I'm no purist, and I couldn't even recount what most of the stories were about, but I just want the toys back... for my son... yeah, that's it... him...

And it's remake time again. On the block, "Clash of the Titans." This is the trailer for the new version. It looks like big, dumb fun, though I hope whoever composed it got a pay cut for resorting to the "[MOVIE TITLE NOUN] will [MOVIE TITLE VERB]" trope. I don't know why it bugs me so when I hear that "Stars will Trek" or that "James will Bond" or what have you. Anyway, given the music they picked, I find myself thinking it would be completely awesome to make the movie in the form of a heavy metal rock opera. But for those who may have somehow missed it, here's trailer for the original movie. Normally I'm mixed on remakes, but this one's pretty much fair game. The first had its charms, including Sir Lawrence Olivier as Zeus, but it was cheese. Yes, Ray Harryhausen was an amazing special effects pioneer, and I could watch his work all day (especially his skeletons from "Jason and the Argonauts"). But the film had a clockwork owl in it for comic relief. And looking at the effects on the new one, I can honestly say I'm glad the money didn't go to another "Mummy" sequel, and I count myself lucky. :)

We knew it was happening: Dollhouse is being canceled. I'm just hoping that hastens work on the Doctor Horrible sequel. And hey, comics! There's going to be a prequel funny book! I hope it comes with a CD or something...

In video gaming stuff, if you downloaded "Torchlight," you can now also get the level editor and see what other users have been doing with it. Also, more details are being released about the Bethesda vs. Interplay fight over a "Fallout" MMO. I think Bethesda is winning, but I'm not a law-talking-guy, so what do I know? And for those playing "Champions Online" or who just want to get some more nuts-and-bolts info about the game, they've launched Champedia, a kind of wiki-tabbed thing that lists player stats, mission spoilers, etc.

But enough of such frivolity. Here's frivolity that's entirely different:

- Ever wondered if you should have stayed to see past the credits of your favorite movie (or sat through the ones on a video game)? What's After the Credits is a handy wiki guide to all things apres "The End."
- Mankind's "signature litter," doomed to spend 100 to 1,000 years decomposing: Golf balls. I suspect that the 300,000 million lost every year must eventually contribute to increased plate tectonics.
- Modern day druids and those who can't afford a trip to across the Atlantic might find Clonehenge handy. Find your nearest Stonehenge replica.
- It's got some bugs, but Siege Master should fill any "Crush the Castle" addictions you might be nursing. It'll fire your catapult on the first mouse click for every level, so wait for the camera to pan back to your weapon before taking the first shot. Also, there's either a random wind mechanic or it's somewhat capricious on angle/power consistency (or I'm a bad shot, whichever).
- Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K. Many of the old buildings have been repurposed, and one person decided to photograph several of them. It put me in the mind of another franchise that fell on hard times, and I was glad to see I wasn't the only one who still remembers Nickerson Farms.
- NASA has a page debunking the 2012 doomsday thing. Suspiciously, they make no mention of John Cusack whatsoever...
- We end with a clever puzzle game, Wake the Box. Attach wooden shapes to other wooden bits on the playfield to set them in motion and wake (or knock off the screen) a sleeping boxman.

11:05PM - New t-shirts? And they're on SALE?

It's been a while, but I've been dutifully jotting down some tee ideas and finally finding some time to set them down on cloth. "Edward & Bela" sums up a lot of attitudes towards the current trends in vampire fiction. I forced myself to watch the movie. Really, the "sparkling" scene was one of the most dumbfounding visuals I've run across in the past ten years. I can only deal with the baseball game if I consider it to be a ham-fisted homage to the bowling scene in "Fright Night 2." But if I remember an interview with Stephenie Meyer correctly, she considers most horror movies "too icky," so I doubt she ever spent an evening on the couch with that particular bit of cinema. Anyhoo, that's my opinion, it's only one, and anyone is free to disagree. All are free to purchase a shirt anyway (grin). The other is a little ode to the thriving siege engine appreciation that appears to be sweeping the country. It's the original way to rock out, right? Anyway, Offworld Designs is having a sale until the end of December! Just type in the code "DOgooder" (no quotes, case sensitive) and get $5.00 off your order of $20.00 or more. Sparkling not included.

The road to fame and fortune is often an odd one, though I don't think I've seen one this odd. There's a Twitter feed I've enjoyed perusing, though I hesitated to post it here as the language used on it is most unladylike. However, since it's part of a larger story, consider yourself warned. Be warned it's also funny and apt to leap from your lips as you read it to roommates and co-workers. The feed is called (in edited form) "[Poop] my Dad says," and it's hysterical. Then I see it's going to be turned into a book... and then into a sitcom. That's right, a Twitter feed is going to become a TV show. A "twitcom," if you will. There have been worse ideas and thinner premises, but if a decent "grumpy old man" show comes out of it, I figure it could have been worse. Besides, I was under the sneaky suspicion that the feed was really from a mellow version of Alan Moore... :)

As everyone no doubt knows, I liked "Fallout 3." The makers of that game Another software company with a 'b' starting their name have has now come out with another RPG with first-person-shooter bits called "Dragon Age: Origins." I'm scared to touch this one, as Fallout sucked away more time than I'm comfortable thinking about, and it looks to have even more content. Plus it has Claudia Black doing voicework. And then there's a 'toolkit' that purports to allow users to create their own adventures. Has anyone braved this game yet and is able to report back? How all-consuming is this beast, and should mankind be wary?

I think I will have to buy the game "Gratuitous Space Battles" when it comes out, though. That one still looks like loads of fun, especially with a subwoofer. It's like a Michael Bay version of "Star Trek," but without his usual efforts towards storytelling. :)

While I avoid other distractions and finish recovering from my Ginger Ale Diet, here's some new stuff I've recently turned up:

- If "Bob the Angry Flower's Guide to the Apostrophe" is too rude, there's a more polite yet still graphically pleasing version.
- Also graphically appealing is this poem for those hapless doomed souls on 'Star Trek' entitled, 'Red Shirt blues.'
- I think we have a winner for next year's top video game tie-in to sneak into someone's luggage before they go through airport security.
- I only point to this "jumping brain" toy because it looks a lot like the 'Intellect Devourer' from AD&D. Also of note are these D&D Dice-headed toys.
- Monday was Carl Sagan's birthday. Here's a tribute to his work, with videos and images both deep and amusing.
- Mechanism 2 is similar to a game we had here previously called (I believe) "Splitter." Slice through bits of the playfield to get the glowing ball(s) to the goal.
- There are many "free" online games out there, but some have rather shady and underhanded methods of getting your money.
- Because this would make a cool premise for an Indiana Jones film, I direct your attention to a lost Persian Army, possibly one whose disappearance was chronicled by Herodotus.
- Speaking of ancient history (well, in rock years, anyway), a purportedly "lost" tape of unreleased Beatles songs (which sound an awful lot like mashups of solo projects and existing songs) is available for download.
- I'm a sucker for giant robots doing cool stuff (like invading places). So here's a film from (I think) Uruguay called Panic Attack which gives us a most compelling hulking metallic menace indeed.
- And because I'm also a sucker for bow-n-arrow games (though I wish more "Bowmaster" games would come out), here's B.C. Bow Contest. Shoot against other prehistoric opponents with a variety of arrows to claim a trophy.